hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
