I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
