The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sext me about skeletons
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
