Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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