i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
