Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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