i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
