So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
