whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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