just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
