Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
