You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
