I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
