I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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