dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
