I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
