Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Someone signed my nipple.
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