so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
