rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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