but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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