I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
