I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
