just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I don't deserve a penis
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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