how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
