Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
