matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
