Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
