It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
