Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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