I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
