At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize