maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
