It's just like the Real World with babies
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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