Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
