I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
