I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
