Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
