Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
