i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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