We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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