Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just pynch a tree in the face
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
