He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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