Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
