mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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