Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
