im drinking this country out of the recession.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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