Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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