i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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