the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
