it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You've changed since you got that strap on
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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