The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
