he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
