don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
