bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
