bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
