I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
