Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
