she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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